


What's Weird About Scorpius Malfoy?

by glitterfox19



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Mild Language, Showers, hints at smut but No Smut i promise, o just read it it makes sense if u read it, scorpius likes weird food lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-27 00:43:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14413974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitterfox19/pseuds/glitterfox19
Summary: He thinks jam goes well with scrambled eggs, first of all.





	What's Weird About Scorpius Malfoy?

**Author's Note:**

> hehehehehe. inspired by a prompt from http://imagineyourotp.tumblr.com

Albus never claimed to be a genius in the same way that Scorpius was. Sure, he had a fair amount of O.W.L.s, was fairly skilled at Quidditch, and could read a decent-sized book in two hours. But compared with Scorpius who read three books a day, had every possible O.W.L. he could, and much, much more? Albus was practically chopped liver. 

What was most important, however, was that he knew the difference between right and morally and ethically… wrong. There were certain laws of nature that were not to be messed with. One poured their milk in the bowl after putting the cereal in. One wets their toothbrush before putting the toothpaste on. And finally, one did not eat pineapple on pizza.

Scorpius Malfoy was a wonderful human being. Albus knew this. He was not only beautiful and chiseled but also one of the smartest, kindest people Albus had ever met. The kid cried once when he saw a flobberworm with indigestion. A flobberworm!

However, Scorpius was a weirdo, on all counts. For breakfast, he ate his scrambled eggs with jelly. It was horrifying to watch, yet somehow endearing, as Scorpius always ended up with jam on his cheekbone and Albus got to brush it off.

It was amazing, the new version of them that had been in the works since their disastrous fourth year. Once Rose had firmly shut down Scorpius once and for all, he and Albus’ relationship progressed further. 

Now they had been dating since the beginning of sixth year, after Albus had said (unthinkingly, of course, because he never thinks) to Scorpius, “I love you, even though you put ketchup in your rice.” Come to think of it, Scorpius enjoys quite a few bizarre food combinations.

“You love me?” Scorpius asked, finally putting down his quill to look Albus in the eyes. Albus nearly swore. He sank down in his seat, refusing to look Scorpius in the eyes. Rose, who had joined them for lunch that day, cocked her head to the side. 

“Scorpius puts ketchup in his rice?” she asked, disgusted. She looked at Scorpius’ plate, and, upon finding the offending dish, turned up her nose and made a face. Scorpius and Albus both ignored her.

“Yeah,” Albus said quietly. He examined his fingernails. 

“Was that an answer to… both questions?” Scorpius said. “Or just Rose’s?” His voice didn’t betray any emotion he felt. It had Albus on edge.

“I’m going to give you two your space,” Rose declared, before leaving for the Gryffindor table. 

“Have fun with that, Rosie-O,” Scorpius called after her. Albus raised his eyebrows at the other boy. How was he being so normal right now? When the fate of Albus’ life rested in his hands? Okay, maybe he was being a little dramatic. 

“I still hate that nickname, Scorpion King!” Rose yelled, her voice becoming faint. 

“As I hate that one,” Scorpius muttered under his breath, knowing that Rose couldn’t hear. He picked up his fork and scraped a little more of the ketchupy rice onto it before chewing slowly. Albus watched his every action, struck dumb by how calm Scorpius’ demeanor was. Albus had almost already sweat through his robes. “So, you still love me?” Scorpius asked, casually. 

“How could that have changed over the course of five minutes?” Albus asked. Was Scorpius playing with him? 

“I didn’t think it had. I just wanted to make sure,” Scorpius said. For a moment, Albus could almost read his friend’s expression. Something had flit across what Albus had nicknamed the ‘Malfoy Mask’ of indifference. Not that Scorpius was like one of those Muggle robots, or anything. He was exceptionally emotional. But also very hard to read when he wanted to be.

“Well, yeah. I still love you. Have for awhile,” Albus said stiffly. 

“That’s nice,” Scorpius said. Albus felt something ugly take root in his stomach. Scorpius was either the world’s largest idiot, or was making fun of Albus. Albus really, really didn’t want to entertain the second idea. “Just to clarify, when you say love, you mean it in the… more than friends way, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Might as well be honest. There was no way he was digging himself out of this hole anytime soon.

“Okay, cool,” Scorpius said. And then fell silent. He ate absently, flecks of rice falling down his chin, as he continued to read. Albus was pretty sure that it was French at this point. From what he could decipher from upside-down, anyway. A long time passed in silence as Scorpius read and Albus picked at his fingernails anxiously.

“Are you… are you going to say anything else?” Albus asked, tentatively, after nearly seven minutes and thirty-four seconds of silence. He counted.

“Hm? Like what?” Scorpius asked, finally looking up again.

“Like… like how you feel?” Albus asked. His voice was so quiet, for a moment, he thought Scorpius hadn’t heard him.

“Oh!” Scorpius exclaimed, rather loudly. His eyes strayed back to his book once more. “No.”

“Why not?” Albus demanded. There was a desperation uncoiling in his stomach. Judging on the way Scorpius was acting, his feelings weren’t returned. But he had to be absolutely certain. He needed to know for sure.

“Because, Albus. I don’t need to say anything,” Scorpius said carefully. Albus flushed hot with shame. 

“Oh, yeah, I’m sorry. You’re right. You don’t need to say anything. Or reciprocate. I can just. Go,” Albus said awkwardly, standing up to leave. 

“I can, however,” Scorpius said, continuing as though Albus had not said a word, “do something.” Immediately, Albus sat down once more and waited with bated breath. He even closed his eyes in anticipation of Scorpius’ lips on his.

To his utmost confusion and disappointment, neither Scorpius’ lips nor Scorpius came any closer. If anything, he seemed more intently focused on the absolute tome of a novel before him. Albus was nearly certain that it was in either French or Italian. 

“... are you going to do something?” Albus was beginning to notice a pattern. He wasn’t quite sure if Scorpius was trying to be infuriating on purpose, or was just spitting out dramatic sentences and not doing anything because he was enthralled by his book.

“Eventually, yeah.” Albus decided not to press it. He couldn’t tell how Scorpius felt about him, but if all the blond boy wanted was friendship, he wasn’t going to press him. They’d still be best friends. Nothing would be different. Albus would just have to figure something out.

There was a funny twinge in his chest, but other than that, it wasn’t overwhelming. One of the benefits of being best friends with Scorpius Malfoy was that they were both so socially awkward that nothing one did could be considered awkward by the other. They just rolled with it, and nothing changed, as long as neither of them talked about it ever again. 

Like the time Scorpius had woken up in the middle of the night in Albus’ bed with a funny stain down his front. Albus had screamed; Scorpius had screamed. Thank Merlin that nobody woke up. Else their fellow roommates slept like rocks. Albus had no memory of Scorpius crawling into his bed during the evening, and neither did Scorpius. They had deduced quickly (without saying it aloud) that Scorpius had a wet dream and then, in his sleep, climbed into Albus’ bed. Albus refused to consider any alternative.

Regardless, they had only screamed out of pure shock at having another human in their sleeping space. Well, Albus’ sleeping space. Albus was pointedly determined to ignore the connotations of Scorpius waking up covered in…well. Scorpius didn’t seem to notice that he should be embarrassed about anything. A quick Scourgify had righted everything. Albus didn’t mention the incident every again, and neither did Scorpius. They were used to ignoring awkward situations.

The evening following Albus’ impromptu confession, however, they broke from tradition. Sort of. Scorpius didn’t leave Albus’ bed when lights-out happened.

“Scorpius,” Albus had hissed. Scorpius continued to scribble notes onto parchment. “Scorpius!” The second time, the blond boy stopped, but only to tuck a strand of wayward hair behind his ear. He began to attack the parchment once more with the fundamental theorems of Arithmancy. “What are you doing?”

“Taking notes,” Scorpius said. “Breathing. My heart is beating.” Any minute now, steam was going to come pouring out of Albus’ ears. He didn’t usually get cross with his friend, but all he wanted was to curl up in a tiny ball in the dark and feel sorry for himself for a little while. Which Scorpius wasn’t allowing him to do, because Scorpius wasn’t leaving.

“Alright, well. I’m going to sleep,” Albus said, in as annoyed of a voice he could manage with Scorpius. It sounded weak, even to his ears. He fluffed up his comforter and crawled underneath it. Scorpius remained at the foot of his bed, scratching away.

Albus closed his eyes and desperately tried to pretend that Scorpius was far away, and that the sounds of quill on parchment were a part of an imminent dream. It was exceptionally difficult to manage. His body refused to get comfortable in any position, but he was wary of rearranging himself in front of Scorpius. 

“Now I’m going to bed,” Scorpius narrated. Albus had to fight the urge to roll his eyes or lash out. He shut his eyes tightly and pretended to be asleep. “I’m walking over to where your head is. Now I’m giving you your goodnight kiss.”

“My goodnight who now?” Albus half-shouted in a strangled voice. He was so surprised that he had nearly leapt up from bed.

“Aw.” Scorpius deflated. “You’re supposed to be asleep when I do it.”

“Oh, sorry,” Albus said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Forgive me for not falling asleep while you hover over me and write in the most noisy manner possible and keep me on edge for nearly the entire day.”

“I was being noisy?” Of course that was what Scorpius gleaned from that sentence. Albus clenched his hands. 

“And obnoxious!” Albus said thunderously. Scorpius surreptitiously cast a Silencing Charm under his breath. Not that it mattered. For whatever reason, the sixth-year Slytherin boys were fast to fall asleep and difficult to rouse. 

“Obnoxious?” Scorpius repeated. He sounded like a parrot. For a brief moment, Albus pictured punching his infuriating friend. Or dying. Dying sounded rather nice right now. 

“Yeah! You’re teasing me right now! You’ve been such an arse today. I never thought you’d stoop so low as playing games with me after I tell you something deeply personal, but I guess I didn’t know you that well after all!” Albus exploded. His words had no effect on Scorpius, who simply scrunched up his eyebrows. 

“How am I playing games?” Scorpius asked. Albus nearly screamed. 

“I’m going to bed for real, now. Goodnight. Please, kindly, fuck off,” Albus drawled. “Unless you’re going to stop being the worst person alive.”

“I thought you loved me.” Albus chose to ignore that. His heart sank. How had he been friends with such a terrible person?

After what must have been an hour, Albus slowly sat up in bed. His pulse was racing; he couldn’t sleep after his conversation with Scorpius. He quietly began to cry, squeezing his eyes shut and covering his mouth with his palm. His throat burned, and when he was done, his eyes felt raw. 

Just as he began to lay his head back onto the pillow, he heard a little voice. “Please don’t cry.”

“Scorpius?” he whispered. He opened his eyes and saw a figure opening the bed-curtains.

“I didn’t… I didn’t. You know,” Scorpius said. Albus shook his head slowly and crossed his arms.

“No, I don’t know,” Albus said, his lip curling at the other boy. 

“I’m really, really, really bad at words. You know this. It’s why I always read. It’s why you and Rose are my only friends. You’re my friend because you got stuck with me on the first train to Hogwarts, and Rose because she likes the same things I do, as much as she’s loathe to admit it. But we’re also friends because… because I love you, Albus,” Scorpius said in a rush. Albus’ breath caught.“I’ve loved you since before I knew that boys could love boys like that. I probably loved you before I was born. I know it’s not possible and defies all logic, but that’s… what it is.”

“Do you really mean that?” Albus said. His heart was beating so violently he was sure that Scorpius could hear it from where he was.

Scorpius blinked owlishly at Albus. “Why would I ever say anything I don’t mean, Albus?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know,” Albus said breathlessly. “Merlin, I love you.”

“Fantastic,” Scorpius said. The two boys scooted closer. Albus held his palm up, and Scorpius matched him, slowly entwining his long fingers with the brunet’s. They had leaned closer and closer together, until Scorpius’ head was resting on the crook between Albus’ neck and shoulder. Albus had used his free hand to reach up and-

There was a loud crashing sound from within the Slytherin boys’ bathroom, jerking Albus back to the present. He could hear Scorpius yell “Shoot!” over the sound of running water.

As carefully as he could, he tiptoed into the bathroom. He wanted to surprise Scorpius by hopping into the shower. On the surface, it seemed like a terrible idea. He and Scorpius were clumsy enough when they knew what was happening. Throw in a surprise and it could result in disaster.

That was the operating word. “Could.” Leaves room for potential. Uncertain.

He shook his head. Albus knew he was starting to sound like Scorpius. Opening the door, he continued his silent journey into the bathroom. Steam was rising over the top of the shower, and he could hear Scorpius bumbling about. The sound of the water masked most of his movements, but he still tried to move as quietly as possible.

Finally, he was right outside of Scorpius' door. Gently, he pushed it open. Scorpius’ back was to him, and he was singing quietly as he poured an excessive amount of shampoo into his open palm. Albus dropped his robe and stepped into the shower, preparing to put his arms around Scorpius’ neck when-

“FUCK!” Albus yelled at full volume. Scorpius threw himself against the wall of the bathroom, Albus against the door, causing it to swing open. The brown-haired boy fell flat on his back on the ground, completely naked and exposed.

“What were you doing that for!” Scorpius shrieked.

“I was trying to surprise you!” Albus yelled back, scrambling to cover himself. “But I didn’t know you took freezing showers!” He was still shivering from the brief contact with the water. It had felt like a thousand tiny ice cubes had pelleted his legs. 

“It’s good for your muscles! It prevents soreness,” Scorpius informed him, still clinging to the wall.

“I’m never, ever joining you in the shower ever again.” Scorpius stuck out his bottom lip at Albus. Of course, since it was Scorpius making a cute face at him, Albus amended his sentence and added, “unless I get to choose the temperature.”

“Sounds good to me,” Scorpius said.

“Uh, do you want to turn around?” Albus asked.

“Not particularly,” Scorpius informed him. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m nude.”

“Well. Yes. That was the whole point of me coming in here,” Albus said. “So am I. At least, under the towel. Do you want me to take this off?” 

“Absolutely not,” Scorpius said. “I have to finish my cold shower.”

“Have fun with that,” Albus smirked, turning away and closing the door. 

He could hear a faint scoff from within the shower. “You’re a terrible person, Albus.” Albus felt a flutter of amusement at Scorpius’ absolute refusal to swear in general, even when the situation called for it.

“Just say wanker!” Albus yelled; he could almost picture the blush on Scorpius’ cheeks at the idea of such crass language.

“Never!” Scorpius called back fiercely. Albus smiled to himself before walking over to his bed and sitting down. Next time, and there would definitely be a next time, he would get to choose the water temperature. He couldn’t wait.


End file.
